"Who writes this crap?"
>> 19 October 2007
Sometimes when I get on a blog-writing roll, I feel like I'm a decent writer. But then I run into stuff like this, and I am truly humbled:
Source: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/tpa/409930561.html
Survival Of The Fittest
Date: 2007-08-30, 2:03PM EDT
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.
11 ideas preached:
Who writes this indead? Someone has used our monogram candy for R&D. Oh, I hope red turns out to be the strongest. Think of a world where all m&m's are red......... wait, no green? Sad, some of us would not be able to get our ooh-la-la on. Well, O.K. then I hope red and green are the strongest. Now where would you even look to find this m&m thing? Hum.....?
Whoever wrote that must be an engineer. Void of emotion. Writing precisely what happened in the mundane, monotonous process. These people are about as classy as a rat with a gold tooth (K I stole the analogy).
The last time I laughed that hard was a couple of weeks ago when Michael was explaining how Ryan was like the exchange-student/brother who stole all his jeans.
I've never even thought about doing anything close to this because chocolate hits my mouth immediately after touching it. Sounds fun. I'll try it.
that is one of the most amazing things that I have read. That is awesome.
Evolution, defects, abnormalities. In the end, the true champion of M&Ms will survive not by genetic supremacy, but by the mercy of Chuck Norris.
Your thinking is very similar to that of Ted L. Nancy's. Perhaps you should purchase his books, corroborate ideas, and make more money (in coupons, that is).
you should have plagiarized the crap out of that. I would have believed it was your writing.
So after wandering in Wizard Land... What, no discussion? I'm mildly curious about your take on the Dumbledore controversy. Seriously it might be a big who cares, but still. Blog. It's the new texting.
I'll admit that I've actually done this, but not to the extent that this guy did. I actually prefer skittles. What can I say, I have some weird eating habits : )
I love reading Best of Craigslist. How else would we ever have discovered that we can get a coupon for a free bad of M&M's?
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