Weekly Selects #39

You might have noticed that I used to do the "DC (Digital Correspondence) Highlights for the Week" every Thursday, posting the funny stuff that people send me via digital media (text, IM, email, etc) throughout the week. You also might have noticed that "digital correspondence" is an incredibly unwieldy phrase -- "correspondence" has like, A LOT of syllables -- and I got sick of explaining to people that "DC Highlights" had nothing to do with what happened the past week in the Washington DC area.

So now we're going to go with "Weekly Selects." Okay? Okay. Let's do this:

--Via Google Reader. From AP:

Wis. Postal Worker Delivers Mail In The Buff

"A Wisconsin postal carrier says he simply wanted to cheer up a woman on his mail rounds who seemed 'stressed out.' But, upon further review, the postal worker says delivering the mail in the nude probably wasn’t such a good idea.

"A police report says the 52-year-old man told the woman he would deliver the mail to her office in Whitefish Bay completely naked to make her laugh. He says the woman dared him to do it, so he took the dare Dec. 4 and brought the mail wearing only a smile."

I considered making this Photo of the Week, but decided to spare you the trauma and emotional scarring. That, and I don't actually have a photo of it (thank goodness). But we can assume that the naked Wisconsonian (Wisconsinite?) delivering mail on that fateful day was a pale-skinned, overweight white man who subsists on an exclusive diet of beer, bratwurst, cheese, Packers' football, and beer.

Who says stereotypes don't work?

--Via IM from JMill:


I think the key takeaway here is obvious: Ladies, never fall in love with a British soccer fan/hooligan.

I thought all that ardent intensity that they put into their teams and fighting riot police ended when the soccer matches did -- but that was obviously naive on my part. It is also present when singing romantic love songs, so is likely present in other aspects of their lives. Can you imagine picking out curtains for your house, or going through the fast food drive-thru, or any sort of everyday activity with guys that have this kind of intensity? You would live in fear your entire life. The second guy with the shaved head is the scariest. Although, to his credit, he does rock a nice harmony.

--Via Email from my coworker CC:


This is creeptastic. Watching this woman stroke her hands and stare at them -- and then get on an elevator with them (00:50-mark) is like watching a stalker talk about his current victim. It gives me the heebie jeebies.

I always laughed so hard during the "Seinfeld" episode when George becomes a hand model because it seemed so outlandish and unrealistic. I guess assuming that these type of people don't exist was, once again, naive on my part. And I've never been so sad to be proven wrong.

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Post-Marathon Check-up -- 3 Months Later

You'll be happy to know that since the marathon, I have not gone on a run. Not a single one. I think my mind and body still refuse to submit themselves to anything vaguely resembling the trauma I put it through back in November. Instead, I've been playing soccer (sure, you run in soccer, but there's a BALL -- it's different).

I got a package from Jay in the mail last week -- some photos he took at the November race. An unexpected and pleasant gift. Here's my personal favorite:

Aside from shooting sports, landscapes, and architecture to prove his awesomeness as a photographer, Jay has also been known to provide his photography services for other things: Weddings and engagement photos; pro bono work for The National Enquirer and other publications of fine repute; incriminating photos of your boss having dinner with his mistress (for blackmail, dummy), etc, etc.

Wait, hold up. I just got an email from Jay saying that he doesn't do weddings anymore.

Anyway, you can check his photos out at tannerphotography.net. There's some amazing stuff there. Enjoy -- and thanks again to Jay for the photos!

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Bite me, Beckham

If I have to hear one more attempt by the media to make a clever play on words using "Bend it Like Beckham" to allude to the arrival of David Beckham and his wife to America, I may have to do myself a favor and commit seppuku (click here for an opportunity to learn about another culture). Anybody who would like me to act as their second, just let me know.

My title may not embody American hospitality, so I apologize; I have nothing personal against Beckham. In fact, I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt and say he's a nice person.

My beef here is two-fold. I take issue with the media latching onto anything so that they can get more readers / viewers (no, I'm not an idiot and realize that this is what the media does to stay in business...), and I take issue with overrated athletes. Beckham is one of these. He's just a washed-up pretty boy that has a limited set of soccer skills.

I grew up playing soccer and it is still one of my favorite sports, and in a way I think it's good that a well known name is coming here to raise US appreciation and understanding of the game. Beckham will probably open some doors and draw some bigger crowds. Don't fool yourself, though. His alleged desire to spread "love of the game" may or may not be linked to the exorbitant amount of money he will earn (possibly $50mill/year).

But I'm guessing the novelty will wear off soon. The ultimate irony to me is that as people come to understand soccer better, as Beckham hopes, they will realize that he's just not that good.

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