Weekly Selects #38

I was asked to fill-in for a dodgeball game last night -- my first organized one -- which was surprisingly fun. My two personal memorable takeaways: (1) The dude on the other team who was pointing people off the court that he had hit, and who also gave me the "come and get some" wave of his hand when it was just me and him left; (2) The Asian-dominated team we were playing thought I was on their team. Oh, good times. And yes, my arm is sore.

Your videos, and then your Highlights:

Videos:
-An Ian McKellen impersonator doing the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air intro
-NASA How to Poop in Space Tutorial (a little long, but no wonder they cut the shuttle program)
-Watch me run 300 yards of my marathon (not really all that exciting, but you can hear Casey narrate and Shigeko laugh merrily. Thanks, Jay!) 
-Stupidest commercial EVER (and the song is stuck in my head. I hate whoever made this commercial.)

-Via Email from Casey, who sent a strange article about people in Japan (sigh) whose job is to break-up couples instead of matching them up:

Have an ex that won’t go away?  If you live in Japan, you can call on a wakaresase-ya or "splitter-upper": "The function of the wakaresase-ya is the direct opposite of a dating agency: with great ingenuity, and the right fee, they will prise apart human relationships."  For example, these professionals will trick a spouse or undesirable future daughter-in-law into committing an affair, and provide photographic evidence of the indiscretion. "We produce a drama at the request of our clients," says Osamu Tomiya, a splitter-upper.

I apologize on behalf of Japan.

As sad as this is, and as much as I think that reality TV is ruining television society, these type of guys has the makings of a successful reality show. Some sort of cross between "Rock of Love," "Dog: The Bounty Hunter," and "Survivor." It has manipulation, drama, scandal, and tumultuous relationships -- all key factors in melting American brains into a soupy mass of stupid-reality-show-addicted gruel.*

*(In the interests of full disclosure, I was flipping through channels a couple months back and came across "Jersey Shore"...and was so mesmerized by the Guido World and it's complete deviation from everything I've known to be normal, that I watched for three hours. I just couldn't turn away)

-Via GChat from JMill:

we should go on a high dining experience in NYC

Marijuana-inspired food -- not meaning "special brownies" or anything like that, but meaning food whose creation was inspired whilst under the influence.

Something tells me that the key ingredients to most of these recipes will be Funyuns, Doritos, and pork rinds. Maybe some Oreos.

-Via Email from White Josh:

After seeing this picture, I can't tell what the Japanese would be most concerned about.  The fact that the base is staying in Okinawa, or what this guy wears out in public!  wow

Oh, Prime Minister Hatoyama.

I was more concerned about Hatoyama and his party taking power last year from the Liberal Democratic Party -- a political party that was pretty much in power for 50+ years straight -- and whether his administration would have the cajones to battle entrenched bureaucrats, endemic and pervasive governmental corruption, and Japan's aging society.

But now I'm more concerned about his fashion sense.

-Via Email from Banker, who just got in to a prestigious university in Europe for a postgrad program. In celebration, Josh M got him a gag gift of an Indian dreamcatcher, which Banker mocked. This email came in a couple of weeks later with attachment:

this thing must have brought me luck, as I hung it up last night, and this morning I wake to have an email from *university name* saying that one who was awarded the scholarship declined, and since I was the runner up, guess who gets it?!

(see below)

so thank you for the dream catcher, as it certainly caught something. 

(I'll never make fun of these again)

Lesson: NEVER QUESTION THE POWER OF THE DREAMCATCHER.

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I Love the Irish -- Photo of the Week 24 May 2010

The LOST finale was satisfactory.

AM went gallivanting about the Emerald Isle for about 10 days, and came back with this one:

Could there be a better name for pub/venue? No...no, there couldn't.

Happy Monday-- get ready for your Memorial Day weekend...

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Goodbye, LOST

The TV show LOST, which is coming to an end this Sunday, has been called a lot of things over its six-year run: "Gripping," "stupid," "addicting," "a television phenomenon" (<-- after years of hearing this I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT MEANS), and on and on.

As I reflect on my six seasons as a LOST watcher -- and I have thought about it a lot -- I would like to add a descriptor of my own: Abusive.

(For all you non-watchers: Hopefully this post serves as an insight into that cryptic show your coworkers incessantly talk about. At the very least, take comfort in the fact that you live healthy and unfettered lives, free from the all-consuming need to figure out the mysteries of LOST)

Don't get me wrong. LOST is a great show in so many ways: Its first season is one of the greatest seasons of television ever; it is some sort of successful drama-scifi-suspense hybrid; it has great characters; and it has good mysteries. But the mysteries are also where the problem lies. The show continually raises more questions than it answers, and this leads to fans having lives that are dominated by rampant speculation, outlandish theories and a list of unanswered questions.

Let's put it this way. LOST watchers are the victims in an abusive, one-sided relationship that leaves them unfulfilled on a weekly basis -- and LOST is the abuser. The show asks for the commitment of its watchers but rewards them sparsely with answers.

LOST is like the boyfriend who comes home with blood on his shirt and hands and a manic look in his eyes, and when asked: "Whose blood is that??" Responds with an aloof: "Nothing," and then adds: "Where's the shovel? Can you get me the extra strength garbage bags? Do you know our lawyer's phone number?" It always answers questions with more questions.**

**(An analogy for the men, just so you don't feel left out: The show is like the girlfriend who gets dolled up to go out and asks to borrow all of the money in your wallet, then comes back drunk at 4am with no money, tousled hair, smeared lipstick, and hickies all over her neck. When asked "Where were you??" she angrily responds with: "Where was I?? Where were you? What were you doing all night?...Now, where do you keep the rest of our cash?")

But within these unhealthy relationships, I have found that LOST watchers aren't a homogeneous group. There are different types of abuse victims watchers, and I feel they deserve to be recognized for the unique ways in which they watch and experience the show. Here we go:

--Ignorantly Enthusiastic - "If I just keep freshly squeezing his orange juice, keep walking his dog for him, and keep detailing his car, he'll come around." You know the type. Their weekly schedules revolve around 9pm on Tuesdays and feel that the more they dedicate themselves to the show it will become more rewarding... but they have no idea that the show treats them like poop. They Google every book that makes a brief cameo on the show, draw flowcharts to track the connections between characters, hop on online message boards to discuss things. It's not a matter of denial -- we'll get to that -- but rather of blind devotion and obliviousness.

--Kicked Puppy Dog - "He may have 'pushed' me down the stairs once, and given me that black eye. But... he still loves me...right?" These people are in denial. Deep-down, past all of their obliviousness, they know LOST will fail them and their hopes for answers. Like a kicked puppy dog, however, they keep coming back for the punishment. 

--Resigned - "Hell. I'm not really enjoying myself anymore, but I've come this far. I guess I'll just ride it out." They've resigned themselves to the fact that the show has drug them through a bunch of crap, but now are along for the ride. They are not excited about the show, nor do they have illusions about ever getting excited again, but they hang around just...well, because. I fall into this category. I continue to watch -- simply because "I've come this far."  

--Violently Angry -"If the show doesn't answer my list of questions, I am going to hurt someone, or myself." This group of people always gets angry after each show, swearing they'll never watch it again -- but they're back on Tuesday.

Does that sound about right? I think it does.

All of that being said, I will admit, in my resignation, that this final season has been decent. I think the end of the show will be met with some relief, and a sense of freedom. People will look less burdened walking around and will be a little more cheery once it's over.

If Robert Frost had lived in more modern times, he probably would have gotten roped into watching LOST. And he probably would have penned some verse about his own addiction, which would be titled "The Road I Wish I Wouldn't Have Taken (But Now Am Forced To Finish Because I Need To Know What the Smoke Monster Is)."

PS: If you're a fan of the show, check out these movie posters by Gideon Slife -- one for each episode of the show. Pretty cool stuff.

*******

Editorial Note: When I submitted the first draft of this to Ben for review, I received the following response:

It makes little sense. But that is apropos for the subject at hand. I can see how feverish this show is making your thinking.

Just thought you should know that.

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Weekly Selects #37

I get so many new YouTube clips a week that I can't possibly include them all even though I still want to include them. So, before the weekly DC highlights, I'll toss hyperlinks to some of the better videos from the past week, and you guys can decide on which one you like the best. 

Alrighty. Let's do this:

Videos:
-Slayer Goes to Church (Think church service meets mosh pit)
-Swagger Wagon (You can't tell me it's not catchy -- should be in contention for a Grammy)
-Will Ferrell Express (Watch Ferrell start a basebrawl and throw beer at other players)
-Sauerkraut Wrestling (You'd better not dive in with any open cuts...could sting)

-Via TXT from DJA:

Quoting the "gentleman"@the nxt window making his transaction@the bank: "& i need 100 singles...thats right...100 singles." yes.

Well, at least someone was having fun over the weekend.

-Via Email from JMill:

the squirrel that died in your wall...

You might recall the squirrel that got stuck in our wall and that I feared would die and would become a ghost Clown-Squirrel and haunt me. But a drunk Clown-Squirrel?? I just wet my pants thinking about it.

But really, I watched this video, felt bad for the squirrel for a split second, then immediately began thinking of the animals that I would like to see drunk (I've already seen a cat high off of dope, so cat doesn't make the list). In no particular order:

• Giraffe: Their necks are so disproportionately long already, can you imagine a giraffe feeling like its head is twice as heavy as it normally is, swaying on the end of that neck? You would laugh.
• Tree Sloth: It would be like the squirrel trying to climb up the tree, but. much. slower.
• Badger, Hippo, Grizzly Bear: I'm just curious to see if they are angry drunks. I think they would be.

Any that you would like to see?

-Via Google Reader, because you know I can't go a DC Highlights without pointing out some strange thing going on over in Japan:

Robot Priest Marries Couple in Japan

Girls always talk about their dream weddings. Somehow I don't think that "Robot priest saying 'Do you take this man to be your wife?' " was part of anyone's scenario. Well, of course, except this Japanese girl's. Oi.

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Cherry Blossoms at Sunrise -- Photo(s) of the Week 17 May 2010

Washington DC takes pride in the cherry blossom trees that Japan gave as gifts back in 1912. (History books tell us it was a gesture to signify the growing relationship between Japan and the US, but I think getting the trees was a last-ditch effort by President Taft to be remembered as "the dude that got us the trees" and not "wait...wasn't that the fat president?")

At any rate, there is about a two-week window in April where the blossoms are in bloom, and this year I dragged AM with me Easter morning so we could catch some sunrise photos down at the Tidal Basin. So sure, I suppose they're over a month old, but I still like them:

This one was taken with a fish-eye lens I borrowed from the man next to me because he basically shouted: "Anybody have a Nikon who wants to take a few shots with a fish-eye lens?" I basically snatched the lens out of his hand before he had finished his sentence, took a few shots, and was immediately filled with a consuming, covetous* Lens Lust (photographers out there know what I'm talking about). I reluctantly returned the lens. But don't think that I didn't start visualizing scenarios -- think Holmes while he's brawling in the latest Sherlock Holmes movie -- about how I could incapacitate the lens-owner and his buddy in four swift blows or less and run away with the lens.**

*(Yup. Guilty of breaking the 10th Commandment)
**(Go ahead and tack on breaking the 8th Commandment, as well)

Anyway. I'll send you off with a Happy Monday and three more that I felt turned out well (which of course you can click on to embiggin'):

Publish Post

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Weekly Selects #36

Sorry 'bout missing last week. Let's do this:

-Via Google Reader, and email from White Josh:

Headline: Biker's corpse propped on motorcycle for three-day wake

So this dude was murdered (sad, and unfortunate), but his last wish was to be propped up on his bike.

Well, this makes me think about a few things, besides the obvious "Huh?" that some of you may have on the tips of your tongues. It got me thinking about what worldly possession I care about enough to be buried with, propped up on/against, or put in my hands in the casket. Root beer? Bacon? A good book? An awesome chrome Barbecue grill? I have no idea.

White Josh chimed in with:

You can prop me up with my racquet and goggles. Yacquetball for lizife.

Yacquetball is a story for another time, but let's just say it was a game we made up at college involving racquetball equipment, eye and/or crotch protection, and caused $800+ damage to the basement of our dorm hall.

-Via Google Reader:

cupcakes flying out of a 120psi cupcake cannon and into people's faces.

I don't know why that's so awesome. But it is.

-Via Email from White Josh, from Williams & Sonoma:

Speaking of BBQ'ing...

Why brand something that you're just going to stuff in your face? Someone needs to explain the relevance of this to me. I mean, yeah, it's cool because it feeds the ego -- I won't deny that seeing 'JD' branded onto a steak would be awesome -- but still...

-Via Email from Case, LOST-inspired Bentos from www.aibento.net:

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Inception -- Photo of the Week 10 May 2010

Behold the latest movie poster for the movie that I'm most excited to see this year: Inception.

In the words of Liz Lemon, I want to go to there.

Sure, I've been excited about other movies that turned out to be overhyped and abysmal failures (see: Wolverine and Terminator: Salvation, the cinematic equivalent of JaMarcus Russell), but I have a good feeling about this one. Here are some reasons why:

• One of the current, most solid actors taking the lead role? Check (Leo DiCaprio)
• The director for Memento, Batman Begins, The Prestige, AND The Dark Knight? Check (Christopher Nolan...who has said that the movie is "the biggest challenge I've taken on to this point")
• Japanese dude and all-around bada** playing the villain? Check (Ken Watanabe. Swoon, ladies. SWOON. He may have some male-pattern baldness and his accent may still be a bit thick, but you know you are gravitating toward his austere, rugged handsomeness right now)
• Trailers that don't make much sense and don't give away the best parts of the movie, but are nevertheless enthralling? Check (Folding street blocks, anyone? Uh. Whoa.)
• A tagline that vaguely and enigmatically reads "Your Mind Is The Scene of The Crime"? Check (It's also been described variously as sci-fi crime thriller, a corporate espionage thriller, and other such things)
• A poster that makes me dizzy just looking at it? Check. (That being said, I am the guy that spins his nieces/nephew in circles and ends up falling down before they do)

Look. I won't guarantee that you will like this movie -- because despite what Case thinks, whether something is likable or not is an opinion, and not an irrefutable fact. I can, however, guarantee a few things: (1) Yes, in typical Nolan fashion it will likely be dark; but (2) It will be gripping, and you will be glued to the edge of your seat; because (3) your head will be spinning to figure out what is going on for the entire two hours; and (4) It will be absolutely original and unique. It may even reach into the "weird" or "strange" category, but aren't we always complaining about formulaic and predictable plots, bland characters and dialogue, and stale movie concepts? This is going to be good.

Needless to say, I'm looking forward to it.


Happy Monday, all! I missed DC Highlights last week. I have been busy. And pondering the future of RoSA. But that's neither here nor there.

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Mt. Eyjafjallajokull -- Photo of the Week 2 May 2010

I realize that the huge eruption of Mt. Eyjafjallajokull (yes, somehow the Icelandic people communicate via a language with each other) that took place in Iceland was a few weeks ago, but I still can't get over the pictures that various news agencies and individuals took. You must go here to see some amazing ones. Here's one:

(REUTERS/Lucas Jackson)

  

Mother Nature is beautiful but destructive, and is often both at the same time...

 

 

Happy Monday, all... 

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