VNTY-PLTS

I seem to be spending more time in the car now that I’m out of Provo. When I get sick of NPR, music, or feeling like trying to sort out my thoughts is going to induce some sort of premature insanity, I start focusing on what’s going on outside. It’s a two-edged sword. Sometimes I’m rewarded with beautiful scenery like waterfalls. Sometimes I’m punished with seeing a shirtless man in his Jeep with more back hair than that guy that Ben Stiller plays basketball against in “Along Came Polly” (a sub-par movie at best).

Anyway, my point is that I notice things I wouldn’t have before – like the ridiculous amount of vanity plates in the DC-area (sources tell me Cali drivers hold their own in this department). They helped occupy my time at first when traffic was bad, with me trying to figure out what the owner was going for; kind of like those psychological tests proving that your mind is capable of reading a passage smoothly as long as the first and last letters of words are the same, even if the letters in between are scrambled. (See how much my Psych minor has helped me out at www.in-absolutely-no-significant-aspect-of-my-life.org). Here are a few I’ve seen, with what I assume was the meaning the owner was going for. Some are pretty easy to decipher, although ultimately useless:

<-- Pretty obvious: "Kicking Tail”

“Redneck Love”. Not necessarily something I want to think about, but pretty obvious. -->

Others aren’t so obvious:

<-- “Log Jammin’ ” ?? (I can only surmise that this is a Bob Marley song about clear-cutting forests)

??? I really have no clue here.------->

The novelty wore off after seeing the first five or so. Now they just bug me. I don’t really see the purpose. If you want to convey a message that bad (the fee and hassle of waiting time to get customized plates) in order to say something meaningful, you would think you would want more than seven characters to do it.

But perhaps I misjudge my fellow DC’ers / Northern Virginians, and I need to be objective and try and see things from their perspective. Maybe they’re not going for anything profound, but something short and concise, so that they can remember their plate # for some reason (I can tell you right now, I can’t remember mine). That makes sense.

Then again, if you do something stupid and / or illegal, the plates make it that much easier for the people who saw you to remember your plates when they call the cops on you.

If you’ve seen any good plates lately, feel free to post them in a comment. I’d be interested to see what’s out there.