Trailer Voiceovers Fulfilled: "Jason Bourne Comes Home"

December 11th had been on my calendar for about a month. No, I didn't have a niece/nephew scheduled to be born on that day. No raise at work. The Bourne Ultimatum was coming out on DVD. Feel free to continue shaking your head and think typical, Josh...just typical.

So following work on Tuesday I found myself at Target, in the school supplies section of all places, under the pretense that I needed some colored pencils for my new sticks. It was really a ruse, as school supplies happened to be next to the electronics' section. I had told myself earlier in the week that I would wait for some Bourne Trilogy Box Set to come out so I could just get all the movies at once...

Before I knew it, I was standing in front of the display for the movie, chatting randomly with the people around me. They only have The Ultimatum? Hmm...I'll probably just wait for the Trilogy to come out. And I began to walk away.

Wait! I turn around. My eyes light up as a middle-aged Asian woman approaches me with a silvery box that reads: "The Jason Bourne Collection."

You can have this. It's the last one.
No, I couldn't...
No, really. We have the first two already, so I can just buy the last one by itself.
I can't do that. I said with feigned hesitation. Are you sur--? Okay, I'll take it.

Divine intervention? Probably not. Asian unity manifest in its truest form? That would be a resounding "Hell yes."

Upon getting home, in keeping with the spy-theme, I opened the case with a 4-inch Smith & Wesson knife that was on our TV -- for what I can only assume is for the robber who breaks into our apartment and needs a weapon with which to enforce his will on us -- tore the plastic off with knife-in-mouth (pirate-style) and opened the case with trembling hands. To find:

That's right. Apparently Jason Bourne, despite his incredible skills, is legally blind and needs a passport the size of his own head just so he can find it when he's digging around in his bag.