A Dear Friend I Never Met

I'm not going to lie. Even knowing what I do about the purpose of our lives here and the role that death plays, I don't deal with it so well. Not when it's someone who continually inspired admiration in me while also instilling the courage and self-confidence to be a little better, and, to steal one of his phrases "stand a little taller."

So on Sunday when I heard the news that my church's president, Gordon B. Hinckley, passed away, I avoided reading anything besides press reports with the basic facts. Anything more would have made it real. I didn't want it to be. I wouldn't let it.

But as the days have since passed, family and friends have sent articles paying tribute to him, expressing not only their feelings of a collective sense of loss, but also love, and joy for a man who passed through and is now reunited with a wife he adored, was met by countless thankful individuals, and was no doubt told "well done, thou good and faithful servant." I knew that if I didn't sit down and tap this out it would never hit me like it needed to.

I know this can't do it justice; especially in a forum where I usually complain about this or that. I know I can't list all of the accomplishments that were the result of his tireless efforts for the Work. But I can offer a small tribute to a true friend -- even though I never met him.

My prophet passed away on 27 January 2008. And when I say "my" I don't mean to be possessive, but personal. He was the first prophet I remember well. He was the one providing constant guidance and encouragement throughout my teenage years. He was the one who delivered the "Be's" to an 18-year old college freshman who was struggling to find his way. He was the one that sent me to serve a mission in Japan amongst a people I love. He helped keep me on the straight and narrow after I got back.

President Hinckley was the leader of a church of 13 million + members, growing by an average of over 300,000 members each year. But to every individual who ever heard or saw him speak -- regardless of whether they ever met him -- they always knew of the love that he had for each one of them as individuals. Given the time, he would have gladly sat down with every member to listen; and, perhaps more importantly, encourage.

And that's what he did: He encouraged. With an endless amount of humility, love and optimism. He helped us believe that we could lengthen our stride. When he taught the "Be's" he was telling us to develop our character rather than to just "do", because becoming who we need to become requires changing. And as hard as change is, he instilled a confidence in each of us that we could do it. There was never a sense of "he doesn't understand" -- he had had his struggles (I still love the correspondence with his father from his mission in England), and gladly shared them. There was never a sense of haughtiness about him -- rather, he was the most humble of men, which, along with his sense of humor, made him and his message so much more real. Does anybody remember in a 1997 General Conference when Elder Nelson gave a speech praising President Hinckley? Here's how it went when President Hinckley reached the podium:

"I thought we were conducting General Conference. It's turned out to be a funeral...He's taken extreme liberty. I challenge him to a duel down in the basement of the tabernacle after this session."

And at the end of the session:

"I've repented. Thank you for your kind words. We'll postpone the duel."

There are so many other quotes that I could put up and more that I could say, but then this entry would never end. I love this man. I am sad he is gone, but am thankful for his example. I hope someday I can simply shake his hand and choke back my gratitude and say something simple:

"Thank you."