To a More Powerful Vocabulary

My high school English teacher made us study out of this book called "30 Days to a More Powerful Vocabulary." It was actually a great book, but not one that you want to get caught reading in public. This entry follows in that vein.

As all the loyal readers recall (HAH!), I make up new verbs based on people's names, by either taking a tendency or a random act of moronic stupidity (whichever works in my favor) of a certain individual and making a verb. In recent days I have conjured up a few. These verbs contain subtle nuances, so you will want to read closely. Apologies for the non-gender neutrality of my examples; if you stick 'she' in there, it works just as well.

• "That guy is a total hypochondriac. He always Hillary's his situation and compares his cold to 'the Black Plague.' " - A certain presidential candidate for a certain political party has gotten desperate and has been making some exaggerated comments about her decision to continue running. (trans. "That guy will say anything to get attention, even to the point of drawing ridiculous and overstated analogies to his situation. What a wuss.")

• "He totally Hugh Grant'ed his front row seats to the NBA Finals for a fake-autographed tennis racket of Maria Sharapova's and a $5 gift card to Bath & Body Works." - No, this is not in reference to Hugh's tendency to play the exact same character in all of his movies, although that is stereotypical Hugh Grant. This refers to when he was dating Elizabeth Hurley, but threw it all away when he was caught cheating on her with a prostitute. (trans. "He had the opportunity that others only dream of, and completely ruined it for something of much much lower quality.)
  

• "Can you believe that?? He completely Pargo'ed my Powerpoint Presentation in front of the new boss." - I don't know if anyone saw Game 7 of the Hornets-Spurs series, but if you watched the last 6 minutes, you may know what I am talking about. Janero Pargo hadn't been effective for the Hornets the entire series and entered the game when his team was down by double digits. With the uncontrollable excitability of a golden retriever playing fetch with an amphetamine-laced stick, Pargo attempted to take over the game, and teammates like Chris Paul (MVP runner-up) and David West (All-Star) didn't touch the ball for a straight 5 minutes. (trans. "I can't believe that guy! We had a game plan all worked out, and then he totally took over my part and ruined it...not to mention he was so excited he wet his drawers.")
  

The best way to retain these is to attempt to use them a real-life situation. See if you can't find the opportunity to incorporate these into your vernacular with a co-worker or fellow student.