What a crock.Satire exposes the flaws, weaknesses, and idiosyncracies of a political/social/etc system or group; its effectiveness lies in its ability to push equivocation aside and directly address the heart of the problem by using humor (I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT I JUST TYPED BUT IT SOUNDS RIGHT). Well, whatever it is, I like satire mostly because it's FUNNY.
Take this device up a level to what I will term "metasatire" -- where things are mocked in vague generalities -- and you see exactly how formulaic things in our society such as our 24-hour news programs (first clip) and movies (second clip) have become.
Man, oh man, I love these clips... but it's a little scary to see that we are getting fed this stuff over and over...
The Onion News mocking the news, courtesy of Banker (WARNING: a bit of language here)
Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere
And the mockery of the Oscars (courtesy of C. Dees)
Sigh. Wistful, yet resigned statement about my inferior creativity and sense of humor relative to the creators of these two videos.
St. Patrick's Day reminds us once a year to be proud of our Irishness -- infinitesimal as it may be for some of us -- and then we promptly forget about it for the other 364 days of the year and make fun of "those crazy Irish." Today's a great opportunity to remember the charming, uniquely-Irish contributions those crazy Irish have made to society: (1) Brawling (2) drinking (3) passing out from drinking (4) harvesting potatoes (5) being Catholic (all of these established facts were taken from The Onion's atlas, thank you very much).
A skill often forgotten amidst the slurred confusion of (1)-(3) is the Irish ability to tell stories. I have a beauty for you here, courtesy of Waffles*, who went to school in Arkansas for a bit and heard this story from some friends that live there. Coincidentally enough it involves a leprechaun of sorts.
Brought to you by Google Voice, and well worth the 3-minute listen. Just hit the play button:
Oh, what the hell, it's St. Patty's day. Here's another good one from JMill: "Give me the gold...i want the gold!"
*From Talledega Nights, obviously: "Me and Ricky, ever since we were kids, man...we go together like cocaine and waffles." Yup, you guessed it. I'm cocaine. He's waffles.
Most of you are painfully aware at this point that I am a huge fan of "The Onion," and that when I feel like getting the shallow sense of fulfillment of having completed a blog entry but don't feel like putting in the effort to write on a topic of my own, I usually just steal one of their stories by posting a link and call it good. I know, I know. I want the rush, but don't want to put in the effort. I feel an overbearing high school football coach-esque lecture coming on...
This article has got to be my favorite of all time, though.
It could be because Bruce and I look so eerily similar... you know, once I got to St. George for a Thanksgiving weekend in 2006, stayed in a condo previously inhabited by a -- much to my greedy benefit -- forgetful old woman, and "inherited" a pair of authentic BluBlocker sunglasses. (old woman: If you are reading this, you don't know where I live, and I think the statute of limitations on "theft of much-to-large-for-anyone's-face sunglasses" is a year).
All I need is a lace-up shirt.
And the ability to hurt people. Lots of them.
Hope you enjoyed the article.
I may have written about how I don't completely understand baseball. One thing I do enjoy, though, is the more or less sanctioned mass brawls. I got this from "The Onion", titled "History of the Bench-Clearing Brawl." Enjoy.
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The Yankees–Rays spring training brawl was a notable bench-clearer, but hardly exceptional in the grand scheme of things. Onion Sports remembers some of the best:
1861: A pitch thrown by New York Knickerbocker pitcher Chic Paulding at the head of Atlanta's Byron Teagarden starts the Civil War
1898: After getting hit by a pitch, Honus Wagner walks briskly to the pitcher's mound and waves his handkerchief right in Kid Nichols' face
1903: Without realizing they too could fight, the Chicago White Stockings get their asses kicked in their own dugout
1968: While not a bench-clearing brawl, the time when Bob Gibson wordlessly stalked onto the field, cut Ron Santo's throat, and walked back to the dugout is certainly worth mentioning
1972: Following a brushback pitch from Tom Seaver, Dave Kingman storms the mound with his bat and swings it at Seaver; he whiffs nine times in a row before finally connecting and sending Seaver's head 475 feet over the left-field bleachers
1987: Oakland A's manager Tony LaRussa notices his team struggling in a sixth-inning fight with the Texas Rangers, forcing him to call up players from the Triple-A Sacramento River Cats to join in the fray
1998: The Yankees and Orioles engage in what is not so much a bench-clearing brawl as it is a fracas
2002: A controversial strike call during a game between bitter rivals the Houston Astros and St. Louis Cardinals results in a stadium-clearing brawl
2003: In Game 3 of the ALCS, Pedro Martinez grabs Yankee coach Don Zimmer by the head, playfully tosses him to the ground, and then slowly digs his metal cleats into his skull
2006: In a brawl between the Dodgers and Brewers, 78-year-old Tommy Lasorda unexpectedly storms onto the field screams loudly while running around in circles, causing both teams to slowly retreat to their dugouts and look around nervously
This'll shut PETA up.
Should Animals Be Doing More For The Animal Rights Movement?
So I am going to say immediately that this is from "The Onion", my favorite newspaper to grab when I'm at a Metro Station here in the DC area, and is by no means an original work of mine. This is way too hilarious for me to think up. Given the recent hype around these games, this is a fitting article (click the image to go to the article). Enjoy.
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