Presidential Plans -- Photo of the Week 8 Dec 2008

I got a tour of the West Wing a month and a half ago.

W and Dana P were out sick, so they asked me to fill in. Here's me taking questions from Reuters or some other media guy in the White House Press Room.

This got me thinking about the myriad of reasons why I would be a subpar to horrible president:

1. Buyer's remorse. I suffer from severe, inveterate buyer's remorse. Even when I buy a song on iTunes. Signing any sort of budget bill coming out of Congress -- say, like a $700 billion dollar bailout -- would basically put me in an early grave.
2. Abuse of privilege. I would probably use things only accessible to the president for mundane things. You know, just because I could: Marine One to pick up the morning paper; "the red phone" to prank call world leaders when I got bored; an Executive Order demanding that Def Leppard do a reunion tour, etc etc.
   
3. Too much fun. I'd end up having too much fun, like dancing and singing with large, Braveheart-length swords.



4. Handling reporters. The majority of today's reporters seem to be operating under the rule that they can only ask mind-numbingly stupid questions. I don't handle stupid questions well. You should see me flip out when I watch other people get interviewed. This sound familiar?
   

   Reporter: How do you feel right now? I mean, you trained for four years and came to represent your country at the Olympics, and had all these expectations, and totally lived up to none of them. How do you feel about letting your country down?

   I absolutely lose it when I watch interviews like this. My press conferences would likely consist of me fielding one or two ridiculous questions, getting agitated, upending the podium, and storming off.