Random Thoughts From My Last Nightshift

The hell of working nightshifts is coming to an end. As the immortal Geto Boys (wait, who now?) declared in incomparable verse: "Damn it feels good to be a gangsta'."

--Thanks to the fact that my best guy friend (JH) and best girl friend (FH) got married to each other,* I am going to be a godfather soon. That inexplicable, portentous feeling of doom that just overwhelmed you as you're reading that I will be a godfather? Perfectly normal. Don't worry, though. Besides my impeccable chopstick-holding technique and ability to break someone's clavicle in 126 different ways, I have nothing of real value/danger I can impart to the child.

*Unrelated sidenote and thought I revert back to more often than I should: JH is of German heritage; FH is of Italian heritage; I am of Japanese heritage. Any chance of us combining forces to lead an Axis reunion? Huh? Huh?? No? Fine.

--Stick three starving guys in a car for 20 minutes, and what is the inevitable outcome? An unofficial pact to buy a smoker. I think in my meat-craving zeal I may have promised to allocate $75 of my weekly budget to the Cause of buying meat, sauces, spices for rubs, etc. I can't really remember. All I remember is hearing keywords like "brisket" "bacon" and "ribs," my mind going blank like Bourne's does when he has one of his headaches/flashbacks, and next thing I know I've promised to fund an entire BBQ'ing enterprise.

--Seen these Australian walkabout commercials on TV? Is ANYbody else disturbed by this? I mean, I can't identify the exact point, but somewhere between the random, naked Australian child following a woman home, somehow getting into her apartment, and whispering creepily into her ear while she is sleeping, I get creeped out:



I can't make this anymore clear: Clowns paralyze me with fear. Creepy kids watching people while they sleep makes my skin crawl. Everytime I see this commercial I'm just waiting for the kid's head to spin all the way around, a la The Exorcist. klaxcj awhgoa=asdw awo2 48jhav

Sorry, I began shaking uncontrollably.