On the Brain

So my managers at work thought that something I had volunteered for (been coerced/guilted into) was amazing (it wasn't) and had a huge impact (it didn't), so for my hard work (I slacked off) they gave me a kingly gift certificate to Chipotle. And, apparently, my hyper-contrarian and underachieving inner monologue has decided to manifest itself in a blog post today in parenthetical form (you'd better believe it, jacka**).

At any rate. The other morning I was in a meeting with two others, discussing contracts and workflow processes and talking about the "rubber hitting the road" and the undesirable nature of "reinventing the wheel" and all that annoying corporate-speak. I don't know. Honestly, I was paying attention to what was going on, but I was also starving. So, I did what all wise people do when they're hungry: I thought about food. And how much I wanted it. And how I was going to break in my Chipotle gift certificate as soon as this meeting was over.

At that moment a question was directed at me. My response?

"Chipotl--"

It wasn't a Turrets-like outburst, but I think if I didn't catch myself at that moment, the rest of the hunger-induced spew out of my mouth would have been: "Burrito, black beans, barbacoa, corn salsa, sour cream, guac, extra cheese!" (All of you just walked down that Chipotle assembly line with me just then...I know you did)

Well, I caught myself, and managed to salvage a level of coherence in my answer. Dodged the bullet.

I'm guessing the other two just attributed my initial gibberish to my English-is-not-my-first-language appearance. It's cool.