Weekly Selects #7

-Via Email from Nartker.



Again. Never NOT funny.

-Via Email with Boyer, J2K, and Jay Z:

This is a screen capture from my Inbox. These are three high school friends with whom all common interests were superceded by our mutual love for the lyrical genius of the Beastie Boys. Boyer and I were discussing the Beasties' greatest songs last week; next thing I know he has unleashed a gargantuan, March Madness-style bracket with 64 Beastie Boys' songs to determine a decisive winner. The four of us vote on a song-versus-song matchup; if there is a tie we enter discussions advocating our picks, and the cycle continues. So far we have 48 emails going back and forth, and we have barely entered the second round.

*In scary UFC Announcer-like voice* There can only be ONE.

-Via TXT from DJA on Tuesday:

Four days late. Just spotted at the giant.

Last Friday we tried to have a bonfire, but after driving around to four separate grocery stores we were unable to find a single bundle of firewood. We settled on one of those superlog thingies -- the composition of which I can only surmise is asbestos, napalm taken from decommissioned weapons' stores, and some sort of animal manure.

Not being a fan of roasting my marshmallows over a carcinogenic breeding ground, DJA and I cobbled together a decent little fire, despite it having been rainy the few days previous. So NOW they're stocking firewood. In abundance. Unbelievable.

-Via Email from Nartker, completely out of the blue:

In two and a 1/2 weeks time I am going up against a few people in an eating contest... I need any type of information that will enable me to eat large quantities of food in a 45 minute time period. I need your assistance gathering said information...

Thanks

To paraphrase The Sports Guy.... Yup, these are my friends.