Weekly Selects #15

Thanksgiving Edition...Here we go:

-Via Email from M, since football is part of the Thanksgiving tradition. Check out this six-year old!



I hope he follows up any and all tackles with a WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD JACKASS

-Via Email from JoshM, an article presenting "research" on "The 10 Most Obscene Cities in America":

Herndon, Va. is a suburb of Washington, D.C., in the heart of the area's tech corridor and right next to Dulles Airport.

It's also the most obscene city in America, as determined by analyzing data from Google.

I lived in Herndon for two years; on top of that, #5 on this list is Reston, VA, where I currently reside. I take umbrage with this research and the methodologies used to draw such conclusions. Would the study results hold up to any sort of academic or empirical rigor? 

This study is bull*&%#.

-Via Chat with a friend who asked to remain Anonymous:

don't judge me for what i'm about to say

One sec. I'm just going to get out my powdered wig and gavel... Ok, continue:

but i think i saw the coach for Team Ugly at the gym last night. seriously josh, this guy was like stop-you-in-your-tracks ugly. i don't know if he plays basketball or not...and i know you have been lobbying for an NBA player to take the position

Anonymous Mean Face proceeded to try and rationalize her lack of human compassion by saying that if I, JD, can get away with trying to compile an All Ugly NBA Team, why can't she say things like this? The reason: The NBA team is full of dudes who are STACKING MORE SCRILLA THEN WE WILL MAKE IN OUR LIFETIMES. Ergo, if I want to call them goofy-looking bastards because deep down I'm actually jealous, then yes -- yes, I am justified. Now, Joe Schmoe at your local gym...? I dunno...

-Via Google Reader, a Parenting FAIL from Craigslist:

SINGLE MOM OF 7 SEEKING BON JOVI PIT TICKETS AT GILLETTE STADIUM. DON'T HAVE MUCH (ANY) MONEY, BUT CAN TRADE THE SWINE FLU VACCINE FOR 6 OF THE KIDS.

Now, the thing that I'm interested in finding out here is the Chicken or the Egg: Does Bon Jovi turn his fans into idiots, or are idiots inextricably drawn to Bon Jovi? This question may forever confound scholars and the educated -- much as the beginnings of the universe, the construction of Stonehenge, and the unremitting tabloid coverage of Jon and Kate Gosslin will continue to puzzle us.

I have no friends that like the man or his music; the closest I have is Casey, who enjoys playing the drum part on Guitar Hero for "Living on a Prayer." His knack for things like common sense and caring for his family don't make him a good case study for the effects/causes of Bon Jovi, though.

-Via Email from JoJo, for your Thanksgiving viewing pleasure:



YOU'RE WELCOME. Happy Turkey Day. Be thankful.