Giving Thanks

Sometimes when people are filled with a sense of gratitude, they say "I want to thank (so and so), but I have no idea how to."

I feel that way right now, but my inability to express myself is not because I'm overcome with emotion or because I'm teary-eyed.

Take this mighty toaster oven, for example:

It is, as Gimli declared, "a kingly gift," but I have no idea how to thank the person who gave us this because I have no idea who gave it to us. It came with a card, but there was no signature on it, and as I am no graphologist, nor am I a voodoo diviner, I don't know who gave it to us.

So here's the best I can do, via the blog: Thank you, Anonymous Benefactor, for your gift. In addition to obvious functionality, it has apparently helped us maintain our already hipster lifestyles by serving in lieu of, in some ways, a microwave. (Apparently not having a microwave is part of being hipster -- who can keep track of this stuff? Not having a microwave, of course, must be accompanied by greasy hair, tight jeans, and a healthy sense of superiority.)*

*Having anything in common with hipsters is such a scary prospect that I am currently shopping for a microwave on Amazon. Perhaps I should purchase two, just so there are no misunderstandings.

While I'm thanking random anonymous folks, I'd like to thank whoever leaves the sports section of The Washington Post in the bathroom stall every morning at work. Your consistency in this department has greatly benefited my mornings.