Ramblings of a 5-Year Old

Mrs. RoSA and I teach the 5-year olds at church. G is the one boy in the class who consistently comes, and -- perhaps feeling there is an alpha dog feud to be settled -- is constantly threatening me. The first couple of weeks it started out as veiled threats couched in rhetorical questions (all of the below quotes are said with his face six inches from mine, in what I can only surmise is an attempt to stare me down into submission):

 G: "Do you have any idea how strong I am?"

G: "Do you have any idea how hard I can punch you?"

G: "Did you know that I'm a billion strong? You can't stop me."

This past Sunday, G cut out the rhetoricals and went straight for the direct threats:

G (hand in karate chop shape): "I can karate [sic] you in half...from head..." (moves hand from my head to my feet as if bisecting me) "...to your toes."

The girls have some one-liners, too. Here's one Mrs. RoSA got from one of them:
Girl (referring to me): "Are you in marriage with him?"
Mrs. RoSA: "Yes."
Girl: "He looks like a Chinese man."
(Mrs. RoSA futilely attempts to explain the difference between China and Japan to a 5-year old)

Oh, the joys.