The Civie is Causing Some Noise

I am the proud driver of a 1997 Honda Civic. Besides the rusted tailpipe that dropped out on I-81 back in 2009, she's never given me much trouble. The Civic's nothing fancy, but she's reliable and gets the job done.

During our road trip to North Carolina this weekend, the engine started making crazy noises. It sounds like a cross between an air conditioner and The Smoke Monster on 'LOST', and it is embarrassingly loud when I slow down below 20 mph. My solution to this is to begin perfecting the skill where I pull into a parking lot, immediately shut off the engine, and have just enough momentum to coast quietly into my parking spot of choice. I will do it at work, in my apartment complex, and at the grocery store.

Although no functionality has (noticeably) been affected, I know I'm going to have to take it in to the shop. I guess part of me just hopes that it'll fix itself.

Another part of me hears that Smoke Monster noise and is half-expecting to walk outside one of these mornings and see John Locke in the parking spot instead of my Civic, staring at me with those crazy, intense eyes and holding an 8-inch hunting knife in his hand.

Read more...

BOOK I KNOW I LOVE -- Photo of the Week 19 April 2010

I'm a big enough nerd that one of the things I get most excited about is getting a new book.


I just got word that Sara Boo, bless her most thoughtful of hearts, just bought a new book titled: The Big Bento Box of Unuseless Japanese Inventions. I haven't seen it yet, but all I need to know about it is in the title, and I love it already. Here's one featured invention in it I found through Amazon:

The "Forward Backward Glasses." Just in case you have friends who are ninjas that like to sneak up on you from behind. Of course, if this friend is a smart ninja he'll realize that as soon as you put on these glasses, your visibility drastically shrinks from 180 degrees to about six degrees (combined between the two scopes), so sneaking up on you when you are wearing these glasses is actually easier than when you're not wearing them. Unuseless? Counterproductive? All of these words are interchangeable, really.

This book, combined with my Atlas from The Onion, are the only coffeetable books I'll ever need. I'm excited to get my hands on it, and excited to share some of its nuggets of hilarity with you.




Happy Monday, all!

Read more...

Attempting to Reclaim Past Glory

You probably remember that over a year ago Josh M and I attempted to grow mustaches, only to find that we were genetically incapable of doing so, and the whole thing quickly spiraled downward into a humiliating debacle.

Anyway, the whole me-with-a-mustache thing was supposed to be buried deep and never mentioned again -- like when Napolean was exiled to Elba. But like Napolean, some things aren't meant to be confined or suppressed, and are destined to reclaim their past glory:

Or not.

Yeah, that's pretty horrible. (Author's note: The stoned, swollen-eyed look is not indicative of a drug addiction, but rather the annoying onset of adult allergies. Damn you, Northern Virginia. And your high oak pollen count)

Two weeks ago, when I realized that I hadn't shaved at all for a few weeks, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to shave everything but the upper-lip, you know? I just wanted to see if any progress had been made in the mustache-growing department. Obviously, there had not; in fact, if anything happened, it was a solid step in the devolving direction. I believe this elicited a "OH MY GOSH JOSH WHAT THE HELL IS THAT" from AM, but don't quote her on that.

Anyway, I saw the below video, and it made me laugh:



For me, I would describe having my mustache as feeling like "wandering through a barren, desert wasteland with no oasis in sight, and only sporadic patches of grass scattered along the way." Or something. Vivid imagery was never my thing.

PS No need to fear, the mustache was "disappeared" shortly after.

Read more...

Weekly Selects #33

Now for the Nyquil-fueled edition of the weekly Highlights...

-Via TXT from Case, who took a trip to NYC that I was unfortunately unable to participate in:

Who is missing from this picture?

Well, knowing Case, I'm assuming this was an attempted guilt trip on me, but who knows? Case could be crazy and imagining he has his arm around someone.

-Via Email from JMill, another Japanese video with lots of ripping clothes and fire-breathing:



In my high school film editing class some buddies and I were going to do a Bruce Lee documentary, starring yours truly (who has never taken a martial arts class in his life). The opening scene was going to have a gong sound, me screaming with primal fury, and then my (pre-cut) shirt ripping from my body. Similar to this video, really, 'cept I can assure you that a black speedo was never, ever a remotely considered concept.

(JMill also sent me one or two (a Star Wars rap --If you want to see Darth Vader rap, the fusion of hip hop and Star Wars geek culture is awesome) other videos that are worth checking out if you happen to have the time.)

-Via Email from Nartker:

Mel and I successfully put together a LARGE dresser from Ikea today ...I'm not admitting how many hours it took ,but I thought of u everytime I looked at those ridiculous directions. I'm convinced that convicts in whatever country ikea is from are paid 13 cents an hour to come up with those directions.... It makes sense that there are no written instructions... They can't read or write!

It's the best theory I've heard about Ikea's frustrating assembly instructions so far.

-Via Email from Julie:

kind of gross, kind of cool

 from thisisfreakingridiculous.com

That's right. Things made from bacon that shouldn't be, including an AK-47, hats, and bras.

I actually had strong words with Butzie this afternoon because his G-chat status that read "pepperoni is the new bacon." When I challenged him on it, he responded with "I dare you to try the meatball pepperoni footlong from subway and then tell me that bacon is better." We eventually came to an agreement that if the pepperoni sandwich isn't better, I have free license to him with an actual sandwich.

I say we open up the challenge to anyone -- let me know how the pepperoni meatball is, and then we can collectively beat Butzie with subway sandwiches next time we see him.

Read more...

Teabonics -- Photo of the Week 12 April 2010

Love 'em or hate 'em, the Tea Party sure knows how to make quality protest signs, as compiled here. One of my favorites from there:

The movement should hire some 4th graders to proofread their signs. This is, as an American, palm-to-forehead-slap worthy. Ugh.

My only vendetta against the Tea Party Movement is not political, but personal. I was trying to get to a museum in DC once when their little "march" shut down the entirety of Pennsylvania Ave. Right where the museum was.

(The one bright spot of this inconvenience was seeing a gangly, awkward-looking teenage boy with an expressionless face holding a sign on a street corner that read: "My Anger is Real." Rage against that machine, my young, acne-faced friend. Rage on).


Happy Monday! I don't know about you, but allergies have virtually incapacitated me. Let's hope I get through the week...

Read more...