Ramblings of a Sarcastic Asian

Had to Blog it

>> 11 October 2011

Wear your helmets, kids.

Apparently, I'm the Nic Cage Guy Now? Awesome.

>> 03 October 2011

Thanks to my unabashed and -- by unanimous consensus, unhealthy -- lust for things such as bacon and root beer, friends and family often kindly go out of their way to pass on interesting news stories about said topics... or, when they are feeling particularly generous, to buy me associated products. Off the top of my head, I can think of many items given to me: a bacon chocolate bar (consumed with a quizzical, yet satisfied, look on my face); membership to a Root Beer of the Month Club (the only thing I looked forward to for three months straight); random obscure root beers from distant lands (consumed with gratitude); a bacon air freshener (presently stinking up my car); a bacon-bits-topped chocolate muffin (surprisingly good); and, gummy candy that looked uncannily like bacon. You get the idea: There are advantages to publicizing what you like.

I'm afraid, however, that my thorough and accurate analysis from a while back about Mr. Nic Cage and the trajectory of his career (disclaimer: I realize "downward spiral" may not technically be a trajectory for you physics nerds, but deal with it) may have conveyed that I want to know everything I can about the guy.

First, there was an article that Google News somehow inferred that I wanted to read about him while he is out promoting his new movie, in which he shared his own personal experience with home invasion. I will only paste an excerpt:

"It was two in the morning. I was living in Orange County at the time and was asleep with my wife. My two-year old at the time was in another room. I opened my eyes and there was a naked man wearing my leather jacket eating a Fudgesicle in front of my bed," he told reporters on Wednesday.

"I know it sounds funny ... but it was horrifying."

A Fudgesicle is a frozen, ice cream-like snack.

(Reuters seeing fit to explain what a fudgesicle is is probably the best part of the article.)

Anyway, yesterday, I got this email from my sister about a man who found an 1870s photograph of a Nic Cage doppelganger. The email simply said, "This made me think of you." Behold the photo:


Give him a Hawaiian shirt and some longer, dishevelled hair, and you have Raising Arizona

I'm all about old photos, but you have to admit that 1870s photography didn't quite capture the crazy of Nic Cage like modern film does. I present to the jury Exhibit A & B and rest my case:

Anyway, apparently I am not only "The Bacon Guy" and "The Root Beer Guy" -- appellations I am very proud of -- but I am now also "The Nic Cage Guy." The only time I felt more misunderstood was when a Japanese man heard me speaking my 4-month old Japanese and asked "Anata wa seishinbyo ja nai*?"

*You're retarded, right?

Greek Cultures

>> 13 August 2011

I need someone to please explain to me how the Greeks are in financial trouble. Have you seen how much they're selling their yogurt for? I was in the grocery store and was appalled. They've gotta be making a KILLING.

Why Did We Ever Learn Cursive?

>> 16 June 2011

Took the GRE on Tuesday -- I'm excited about the future opportunities this will allow me to have; but mostly, I'm just that it's over and I can go back to doing things I enjoy (reading, blogging, nothing) without feeling guilty that I'm not cramming worthless words into my brain that I will never use in a normal conversation.

They're quite strict about admission to these tests (understandably), but all the signed forms and presenting of IDs and having my mugshot taken made it feel like I was being granted access to Area 51.

Oddly enough, perhaps the most formidable challenge to my success on the exam came before it even started. I had to fill out a form on which I gave my agreement to not disclose details about the test and say I understood the testing rules. I then had to copy down an entire paragraph, verbatim,to verify that I understood the agreement. In cursive. When was the last time you wrote in cursive? I have no recollection of the last time I wrote in this archaic script. I'm pretty sure I looked like I had arthritic hands as I unnaturally and uncomfortably fumbled my way through writing an entire paragraph in cursive English. The end product probably looked like a drunk 3-year old's attempt at writing a statement. I'm surprised they admitted me to take the exam, but I suppose they took some pity on me since I did pay them $160 to take it.

Bonnie, Bonnie Scotland

>> 15 May 2011

Mrs. RoSA and I are recently returned from a 10-day trek to Scotland. It has always been at the top of my Top 5 Countries to Visit List, and it did not disappoint. In fact, it greatly surpassed all of my highly-inflated expectations of seeing rugged green mountains with beautiful lochs, centuries-old castles, and historical sites.

All of my expectations prior to going could really be distilled down to this video clip:

Essentially, I wanted my Scotland experience to be me scampering up rocky cliffs in the Highlands, shaggy and overgrown hair blowing in the wind, claymore broadsword strapped to my back, bagpipe music playing as my soundtrack. This led me to demand of Mrs. RoSA that she not only learn to play the bagpipes, but that she learn to play them whilst running behind me, minstrel-like, as I scampered up cliffs. Here's an approximation of how the dialogue ensued:

Mrs. RoSA: Josh, I don't think I have the lung capacity to simultaneously play the bagpipes AND scale mountains; in fact, I'm pretty sure I would pass out.
Me: Isn't this one of those things we implicitly agreed upon when we got married?
Mrs. RoSA: Eyeroll.* I'll consider it if you wear a kilt.

I think we eventually settled on listening to the Braveheart soundtrack on our iPods while running up the Highland mountains. Technology makes things easier.

*When we're chatting on Gmail, Mrs. RoSA actually types out her eyerolls.

I will leave you with a few photos of my choosing from the trip. I have to add that the frustrating thing with Scotland is that the natural beauty is on such a scale that it was difficult to recapture. This, of course, had me blaming my camera, my lenses, and the brightness of the sun -- basically everything but my own lack of photographic acumen (As you can tell, I'm more of a blame others, "shoot the messenger"-type of guy).

1) The Table, part of the Quiraing -- an awe-inspring group of eroded basalt cliffs on the Isle of Skye. The most beautiful natural scenery I have ever seen:

2) Edinburgh Castle -- A huge castle built out of a black, volcanic rock overlooking the city:

3) The Lost Valley -- We took a steep hike up between two of the Three Sisters...mountains near Glencoe. In between these two mountains is 800-yards worth of flat valley where clans used to store stolen sheep. Unfortunately, this picture doesn't capture the scale of the valley. Stupid camera...